Heartsong

She came to me like a smooth sea breeze,

Her hair as black as night,

In her wide arms she held me close,

I held her with all my might.

She whispered softly and laid my mind to rest,

I told her what my heart possessed,

It was lonely and loveless,

It was frozen and lifeless,

It was filled with grief and sadness.

She placed her hand on my chest,

I took a deep breath to quell my unrest,

Your heart isn't empty and lifeless,

It's filled with lots of love,

More love than this world possesses,

I don't feel loved, I said,

I can't give love, I said.

She looked at me with her deep blue eyes,

And saw through all my lies,

She laughed and stared through me.

If I kiss you, will you indulge me?

I looked at her and said, "you serious",

"Watch me", she looked at me playfully.

She placed her lips on my lips and kissed me through and through,

I let go of my inhibitions and followed through,

We kissed and kissed till I was blue,

My heart was beating like it was anew.

I looked at her joyfully for I knew,

She had saved me from pain,

A life without love.

I held her with all my might,

Until she let go and dissipated into thin light.

I searched her here, I searched her there,

My aching heart was beyond despair.

I cried out loud wishing she would hear,

No response as I feared.

Then one night she came back to me,

Beautiful as the day I laid eyes on her,

I wept and asked her why,

All she did was tell me I didn't try.

I didn't try to understand,

I didn't try to change,

I didn't try to let go,

I was still the same.

The same cynic, the same pessimist,

The same man she met all those years ago,

I couldn't be changed, she said.

I would die alone, she said.

I looked at her teary eyed.

That's how it's always been my dear,

I don't change you don't change the world doesn't change.

My heart wasn't filled with love,

It was filled with selfishness.

It cared about itself ,

To the point of self loathing.

I realise now I was wrong,

To hold onto you for so long.

Go now and leave me alone,

For my heart will love itself I know.